22 months

Okay! You've won me over again. Just when I thought I couldn't possible love you any more than humanly possible. You started calling me Moma!! Not that I was worried it wasn't going to happen. I've been having a lot of mothers telling me that they were always the last ones to be named. Why would mothers need a name anyway? They're always there. One little peep out of you and we're all like "what...what happened...you okay?... let me take your temperature.." I'm surprised when kids get older they're not just all "hey you, yeah, you who takes care of me.." 

So as if it wasn't bad enough that your first 2 word sentence was "Daddy buh-bye", I started back to school this month. Yes, I have abandoned you for 3 days out of the week. Doesn't really matter, you prefer it at your sitters anyway. Some mothers feel guilty dropping their kids off on the way to work, I actually feel guilty I can't take you there more days out of the week you love it so much. I keep you at home for one day you get major cabin fever.

Oh and you started saying "no" for real now. This is how our day goes.

me: Would you like to eat?
you: no
me: Would you like to play outside?
you: no
me: Would you like to play with your blocks?
you: *blank stare*
me: How about singing a song?
you: noooooooooooo!

I think I'm just going to stop asking you close ended questions.

21 months

When I first saw this picture a thought came into my head that I have continuously mocked other mothers for making. Oh my god! He's getting so big!!! I then expressed this to my loving husband, hoping to share in the mutual sentiment, to where he replied "uh, yeah... that's what they do". Well of course, I know they are suppose to sprout into (what we hope to be) decent human beings. But there is something to be said about clinging onto that image of when they were first in your arms. 

I promptly came back to my senses. Deciding that I will allow you to continue to grow and flourish.... you welcome :)

So you are talking.... quite a bit. You are able to say a new word about every day. It's amazing!!

You have also figured out how to climb up on the bar stools and grab things off the counter, as well as move the bar stool to other locations to get what you want. Your vertically challenged days are over.

This I am calling your cheezemosa smile. You are starting to love the camera and this is your attempt to say "cheese". You also have the same face when you ask "please". Really, really hard to resist.

You have also started saying Daddy, well.. "Deddy", but it still counts.

Which makes it very hard for Daddy to resist.

20 months

Ahhhhhhhh! I'm the worst mother in the world!! I'm so behind on my monthly letter!! I promise the pictures are on time though... I swear! I have been super behind on my blogs, but look at this guy! How could you not spend every waking moment with him?

This month a light switched seemed to flip on. Palmer has decided that he actually prefers us to other adults. Your Father says you've finally stopped "shopping for parents". Which seems bizarre in its own right but is actually pretty common. So in trade of constant testing / trying to bond with complete strangers you have decided to aim to please / desire our company in public.

Oh... I almost forgot... and tantrums. Full blown dramatic-only thought it happened in the movies-tantrums. The great news that you haven't attempted these throw-yourself-on-the-ground-kicking-and-screaming "events" in public....yet.                                                                                                                             

Mr. Owl = new best friend

You still have a limited amount of words but you actually learned "no" this month. Initially you would say it constantly after coming back from daycare. Still not able to answer a question correctly. If asked a question you usually just nod "yes" or not at all (that meant "no"). We have one of those video monitors, which we love, and is only for the sol purpose to make sure you're not killing yourself in some inventive way. One morning you pulled your stuffed toys from the adjacent play bin as usual, and you were role playing. You were having a conversation between your oversize sheep and Mr. Owl. 

O.S. - more?

Mr. Owl - NO!

O.S. - more?  

Mr. Owl - NO!...

This went on for about a good two minutes. In my head I would like to think that you're reenacting the seen of Oliver Twist between the head master and Oliver but in reality I'm sure you were just replaying the many times you've asked for more food and I've turned you down. You've never starved a day that you have been in this house! You eat like a teenage boy and it's unnatural!!

You also got the pleasure this month of attending your first Davis picnic. You loved it, and you had your own fan club. All the kids wanted to play with you and have your attention. Can't really blame them. You are quite adorable.

But there is much more to you then that....much more.

19 months

This month has truly been amazing. The very first day of your 19th month you said your first word with exact meaning, "uh-oh". Your Father insists that it isn't a word. You do say things like "hi" and "hello" but not with nearly as much consistency. However, your social worker and everyone else consider it a word, so there. I win.

 I finally came to my senses and decided that I could no longer keep you cooped up in the house no longer. Your father and I realized quite shortly after you have arrived that you are an extrovert and we are definitely introverts.... i know *shocker* right? I wanted to keep you at home as long as possible because a) we needed the bonding time b) I honestly didn't know what else to do with you and c) I was being selfish and giving into my introverted ways. After realizing that you cabin fever wasn't good for either of us we made some very wonderful changes.

So Mommy got a membership to a gym with a kids care center. It's perfect! You got to run around on an indoor playground and get your fill of other childhood friends, and I got to turn up my music, go release pent up tension, and maybe even loose some weight in the process.

We started to bring you to daycare once a week to get you use to it before I go back to school. You love it so much you throw a fit when I come to pick you up and take you home. I don't think you will have any problems going three times a week. Shit, I think you probably prefer to be there right now.

Summer is also here in full force. You don't mind the heat at all. You ask to go outside ALL the time, and you don't care if sweat is dripping off you face, you're still having a ball. So I signed you up for swim lessons. Seriously, with no fear, you ran straight into the water even though it was perfectly clear you had no idea what you were doing.

So there, your Mother can admit she's wrong (remember this when you're older). With all this extra activity you've been an extra happy boy. You sleep better and much more cooperative. Beginning of very many sacrifices to make you happy, and I would do them all again tenfold.

18 months

Well Palmer if there is anything you have proved this month is that you are bored with Mom and Dad and ready for bigger and better things. You have perfected your utensil usage skills to the point that you refuse to be fed anymore. You would much rather do it yourself because, well, if you want it done right you do it yourself apparently. Your Dad had another long month at work so it was mostly you and me.

Like perfect timing, just as it's about to be scolding hot outside (gotta love the summers in Arizona) you've decided that outside is where you prefer to be. Even with beads of sweat rolling down your cheeks. You are starting to feel more comfortable at the parks. I don't have to plead and beg for you to go down the slide or go on the swing anymore. I truly do enjoy to see you enjoying yourself.

In your monthly pictures you might notice the abrasion on your forehead and nose. Usually being the photo-perfectionist I would photo-shop this out, but the story was kind of funny. You were being paraded around at a family party. You were having a grand ol' time with a cracker in each hand, when you took a nasty spill. And instead of using your hands to break your fall, you decided to use your face to save your delicious snack.
 

But as you can see you healed prettying quickly. One of the nice side effects of being young.

The real reason we can tell you're bored with us is that your Father and I went to San Francisco for the weekend and you spent four whole days with your grandma in Globe. She said you didn't even notice we were gone. Of course Grandma is pretty awesome. I wouldn't miss us either.

But you sure were happy that we came home. You had this look of "oh yeah, I remember you". You never skipped a beat, no regression, it was like we never left. You were perfect.

I think it's safe to say that we are out of the "attachment" stage (fully understanding that bonding never ends between parents and their children) and we are onto regular kid stuff. Like now you are in this phase that you get frustrated when you can't communicate verbally, so you do so through actions. I believe people call this the  "terrible twos"....... although a very important stage in everyone's life, it makes Mommy want a drink. Well here's cheers to you kid! Cheers to normal emotional and social development!!

17 months

Dear Palmer,

In your 17 months of age you have managed to eat your weight in Cheerios, learn a pretty good number of your body parts, and learn exactly which key starts the car. You have only been with us a month and a half but you are already sleeping in your room on your own and sleeping through the night. Not only did you have your first night of being babysat but also your first sleepover at Grandma's house. Passed with flying colors!

This month was slightly difficult. Your father was working nights on this particular rotation so it was just you and me, for three weeks, lucky you. I got to experience what it would be like as a single parent and you got to experience what it would be like to be stuck in a house with a crazy person. You only got to see your Dad about an hour a day while he ate before bed or leaving for work. Well you managed to eat his food, so he didn't really "eat" per se. We won't tell your dad that we had it figured out after the first week. I'm so lucky that you're so flexible.

Let's see... any bad things.... well you got sick the third week, but you were still happy the whole time, ate and drank and slept like normal. And it was pretty difficult to get you to sit for these pictures.

You did however decided to foil my "time-out" plan. I convinced myself that time-out was the best form of punishment because you couldn't stand to be without my presence. Well that has changed too. You are now secure enough to be locked in your room and entertain yourself. Bitter/sweet moment for me. Obviously I want you to be secure and calm when you're on your own but now I'm out of my only punishment option. Oh don't worry... I have plenty figured out for when you're older. You've also decided to start acting all cute when I'm trying to reprimand you. You'd start howling like the dog, or playing with your toes and laughing. Pretty hard to stay mad at something that cute, touché. You have won this time....

Everyone loves to have you around, people are fighting over chances to babysit you, you are a true charmer. I tend to agree with them, you are quite amazing.

The Arrival

It's been an amazing month and a half! Our son finally came home February 25th and it has definitely been a crazy household since. Time has kind of flew by and stood still at the same time. I want to make sure that I don't forget everything so I've decided to write a monthly letter to Palmer. Not holding anything back either! He's going to hear the good, the bad, and the oh not so pretty. Here goes nothing.

Dear Palmer,
The day of you arrival the whole family couldn't contain themselves. You weren't flying in until 6:30pm on a Friday. I had to wait all day for you to come. Well, we waited 10 months and 11 days but that last day seemed the very longest. You had quite the crowd waiting for you, all your aunts and uncles, cousins, your grandparents and great grandparents. When you came down that airport walkway you saw this huge crowd of smiling faces clapping and waving, and you waved back. You thought it was great! Getting all this attention! Everyone could tell you were tired but that didn't matter. You
immediately took to your Dad.

After the family had left you were stuck with us. I personally thought you were acting like you were handling everything pretty well. I took a picture of you with my cell phone in the car. Now looking at the picture I could see wave of emotion on your face. We took you home, fed you, put you to bed. I'll admit I thought after we put you down that "Hey, this isn't that bad". Oh I was wrong. It hit you about 2am what was really going on. You woke up 10 times every 90 minutes the rest of the night.  We didn't blame you. Since your internal time clock had to take a 180, the culture shock, and the fact that you were taken away from what you knew of home. That weekend you stuck pretty close to Dad. You liked me to be around but didn't want me too close. Then Monday came and Dad had to go to work. You were stuck with me.

During the day you were quite cheerful and charming. You danced to music, tried to mimic our facial expressions. You were also very delightfully distracted by the animals. When it came to eating or drinking anything you wanted to gorge yourself. Don't worry I'm an emotional eater too. The nights were very hard for you. The couple weeks we all camped out on the floor of your room. We were there when you didn't want to be consoled, even if you didn't want us near you. By the second week you were tolerating me more. You still preferred Dad when he came home and I was okay with that.

 

By the third week you had made incredible changes. You were only waking up about two to three times a night (which was an improvement). You've stopped saying your "five" Korean words and started to understand us a little more. And then you finally decided I wasn't so bad. Your Dad and I started to rotate sleeping on the floor and transitioned you into sleeping in your crib. Your emotions started to expand more and more. We would see over stimulated joy to frustration with toys. Each day seemed to get better and it did! It was definitely a learning curve on both of our parts. Let's face it, you've never been adopted before, and the closest experience we've had with children was well.... no experience. But we made it through the first month no worse for the wear.

The most surprising thing was that you were comfortable with us from the beginning. Like you knew that you were going to move into a complete stranger's home. But you had faith in us, you trusted us. Your foster mom must have been an angel.